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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29563104">idiots.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cancelpocalypse/pseuds/Cancelpocalypse'>Cancelpocalypse</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>I'm love them, M/M, Minor Dorothea Arnault/Sylvain Jose Gautier, but please look at them, in which sylvain is actually useful, in which sylvain lectures felix about love, it may not be explicit pining, they've been pining away for YEARS in their own special ways, y'all they're such emotionally constipated idiots</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 21:54:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,454</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29563104</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cancelpocalypse/pseuds/Cancelpocalypse</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Even if there are no flowers or chocolates or candlelit dinners – Felix – if you love him – I just don't want you to miss it."</p><p> </p><p>some fluff and happiness for dimilix week prompt: 'pining'</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Felix Hugo Fraldarius</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>2021 Dimilix Week</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>This is the first weekend off that Felix has had in two months.</p><p>"Off": well, technically, there's still plenty of work to do that falls under the general category of <em> organizing all of Fodlan </em>. He'll resume the appropriate tasks when he gets back to Fhirdiad, but he has enough time for this respite.</p><p>He and Sylvain canter through a grassy field stretching before them, into the treeline and onto a familiar beaten path. No hunting; they're out for a joyride, soaking up the summer, short and hot, while it lasts.</p><p>War is over, and there is no end of reasons or ways to enjoy the peace.</p><p>A good hour's ride later, they stop at a clearing by the creek that Felix knows well, let their horses approach to drink. Felix dismounts, sweating, shrugs off his vest. Sylvain fishes some bread out of a saddlebag and starts chewing enthusiastically. Felix inspects the lone oak tree on this bank; it's still standing after the storm last week, and there's still enough wild sage carpeting the earth around its roots to provide a rest to forest travelers.</p><p>Felix stands, though. Seems to be a habit after five years of war. He watches the horses, enjoying the warm air and cool water.</p><p>Sylvain finishes his bread and joins Felix in contemplation for a second.</p><p>Felix remembers something he was supposed to say earlier.</p><p>"Congratulations," he says to Sylvain, who looks startled but then grins. He holds up his left hand – a band of gold with shining green inlaid glints in the sunlight.</p><p>"Thanks! You probably saw it coming though, huh?"</p><p>"Spending that much time with a girl is odd, even for you," Felix nods. "I suppose I have a wedding to prepare for now."</p><p>"You better. It'll be big. House Gautier is going to be the only place <em> anyone's </em>going that weekend."</p><p>"Send me – and Dimitri – an invite as soon as you have it planned," Felix advises.</p><p>"You don't have to tell me. I know you're busy as hell. Honestly, it feels like ages since we actually saw each other. For real."</p><p>Felix half-smiles. "It's a good thing, though. We have our own lives. Our own things to take care of."</p><p>"Speaking of which, any plans to follow suit?" Sylvain holds up his ring hand again.</p><p>Felix jumps a bit. "Engagement? Marriage?! You think I – soon? --" he sputters.</p><p>"Yeah, well, you're very eligible and twenty-four years old. Chop chop!" Sylvain grins.</p><p>Felix scowls at Sylvain, not in earnest. Sylvain's grin fades to a more serious countenance. "No really Felix, like . . . anyone at all?"</p><p>"Why pick on me? Ingrid's just as single," Felix points out.</p><p>Sylvain guffaws. "Oh, you really <em> are </em>too busy for gossip."</p><p>"What? She has someone?" Felix's eyes narrow.</p><p>"Stop changing the subject. I was just asking if you had your eyes on anyone, that's all."</p><p>Felix crosses his arms, does a quick inventory of the people he knows best just to appease Sylvain. <em> Anyone in particular I want to take dancing? </em> "No."</p><p>"Nothing at all?"</p><p>"No."</p><p>"Really?"</p><p>"No."</p><p>"Are you sure?!"</p><p>"Yes!"</p><p>Sylvain shakes his head and absentmindedly gives his horse a scratch.</p><p>"You know I hate tea parties, balls, flirting, cake, especially wedding cake, flowers, pet names, and anything romantic, so stop asking," Felix says.</p><p>Sylvain chews his lip instead of making an instant comeback. "Look, Felix," he says rather thoughtfully, "That's the thing, like, love doesn't have to be romantic for everyone."</p><p>Felix snorts. "And you would know how?"</p><p>"Well I don't, personally. But I think I've seen it. Not everyone can love in the same way. It’s still the same, at the core, though. I think it's when you break your own limits – of what you would normally do – for someone else. And you become better, somehow."</p><p>"Very poetic, but there's no one who could make me go to a tea party against my will."</p><p>"That sort of stuff is just superficial, though, that's not what I mean," Sylvain protests. "It can be in battle, too. Y'know, Thea just makes me better, like when I know she's there and we're fighting together, I just push past everything, because . . . she's there! I can't explain it. That's not too romantic for you, is it?"</p><p>Felix affords him a half-smile. "No, that sounds quite useful."</p><p>"And then there's stuff that's just stupid. When I was off to the desert to clear out those worm monsters last month, Thea cast on this one that was giving me trouble and ended up attracting its attention and almost getting herself killed. I've been stupid for her too. But in the end it works out. Sometimes it sounds more heroic than stupid."</p><p>"I remember that, you made it sound exceedingly heroic," Felix snorts.</p><p>They stand there in silence except for the bubbling creek. Their horses sample the grass growing along the creek bank. Felix casts a side glance at Sylvain, who looks unusually pensive.</p><p>"I'm just going to say it," Sylvain blurts all of a sudden. "Promise me you won't say anything back. Not yet. Think about it."</p><p>"Sure." This request piques Felix’s curiosity.</p><p>"After all of Fodlan got news that Dimitri had been executed. . . Look, I know I'm going way back, but bear with me . . . I held on to the hope that he was alive for, well, maybe a year or two. You know after that, my heart wasn't in it when I went with you to try and search him out. I really thought we could turn the tide against the empire if we stopped looking for a dead king and focused on our own strength. But you wouldn't give up on your hope. I thought you were an idiot. Right till the day we found him – you insisted he was alive, and you wouldn't stop. And then – and then we found him, and he was … not himself. I realized you'd seen this all along, you'd known what he was hiding, and I thought for sure you'd be done with him. But you were the one watching him in the cathedral that first night when we were reunited."</p><p>Those aren't particularly fond memories for Felix. Any satisfaction from knowing that everyone now saw in Dimitri what Felix had always known was there, since the Tragedy, had turned to acid inside him. To see Dimitri like that, fully captive to his ghosts -- Felix doesn't know if he's ever felt more anger, more pain, than he did watching the boar prince in the cathedral that first night.</p><p>"But despite all that, despite him, really, you stuck by him in battle," Sylvain continues. "Honestly, even Byleth's strategy was kind of to keep their distance . . . But you'd always go after him with a heal spell in one hand and sword in the other."</p><p>Byleth had been thrilled to know that Felix was finally learning some magic, Felix remembers, but they'd tried to stop him when he turned around on the battlefield soon after and plunged himself and his Heal spell into the midst of the foe, after the wild prince. The boar wouldn't even let Mercie Physic him from afar, sometimes, when he was like that. But someone had to do it. Right?</p><p>"And after Rodrigue passed . . . you . . . I think you really get the credit for keeping him alive, Felix," Sylvain goes on. "He was weaker after he came to his senses. I mean, we all were with him. But you – don't get me wrong, you're good with a sword, but I've never seen you cut through enemies like you do when you have to, for Dimitri. You've always been so angry, Felix, and I thought it was 'cause you hated him. But you never did, did you?"</p><p>Felix stares at Sylvain. <em> Hated him --? </em></p><p>"I was really glad to hear you calling him <em> Dimitri </em>again, Felix. Really glad. Dimitri's a lot better, but you're also a lot better, you know? Ah . . . anyways I'm not saying I know how you feel or anything. I swear I'm not. But even if there are no flowers or chocolates or candlelit dinners – Felix – if you love him – I just don't want you to miss it."</p><p>Sylvain looks down for a moment.</p><p>Felix opens his mouth, his chest hot, about to say something (anything!), but Sylvain shushes him.</p><p>"Hey, just think about it, not allowed to say anything right now. Pretend I never said that today, right? Come on."</p><p>And with that, Sylvain mounts his horse. Felix clamps his mouth shut and follows suit.</p><p>On the ride back, Sylvain deftly turns the topic towards other things, and Felix participates as he can.</p><p>But Sylvain's posed a real question, and Felix finds it hard to wrest his attention from the confused turn of his gut. <em> If you love him . . . </em></p><p>If he loves Dimitri, then what?</p><p>***</p><p>Felix has never been particularly good at emotions and things like that.</p><p>"Do you remember thinking that I hated you?" he asks Dimitri, a few days after he's arrived back at Fhirdiad. They're in the king's office. Felix is looking through a few of the West Faerghus Annals at Dimitri's request, searching for the name of some noble.</p><p>The king looks up from the draft he's reviewing at his desk. "Well –" he starts, seeming surprised. His blonde hair is still medium length, long enough he ties part of it back. He usually has at least three layers on, to meet the standard of kingly regalia, but today looks more casual, with a blue embroidered tunic on under a dark grey jacket. Certainly looks the part of a royal, but the patch on his right eye keeps the aura of a warrior about him at the same time. He turns his gaze back to the pages on his desk with a small shake of his head. "Hated me . . . that wasn't so long ago. Well, I suppose I gave you good reason to."</p><p>Felix slams the book he's holding shut. Dimitri flinches and looks up, the light through the large window falling on his face, blue eye bright.</p><p>Goddess, all things Dimitri have a special knack for making Felix angry. "You really <em> are </em>an idiot," Felix sputters, and makes for the door in haste, regretting he ever brought this up.</p><p>Of course, Dimitri gets up, shoving his chair back. "Wait, Felix!" He hurries around the desk and catches Felix by a shoulder just as Felix is turning the doorhandle on one of the engraved wooden doors. Dimitri is taller, stronger – almost always has been; he turns Felix around to face him. "I'm . . . I'm starting to grasp how terrible it was. How I was. I have to face it – to know I'm getting better," he says earnestly. "And I <em> am. </em>But I don't remember everything quite right, and you were there, Felix, so if there's anything you have to say – please. Say it to me. Don't run off."</p><p>Felix makes to struggle out of Dimitri's hold, but seems the king is quite intent on hashing this out here and now.</p><p>"I know," Felix huffs, giving up all hope of escaping.</p><p>"Know what?"</p><p>"I mean, I know you're getting better. And I also know you're never going to be like before."</p><p>Dimitri dips his head, drops his hold from Felix’s shoulder. "You're right."</p><p>"No, that's . . . good. You're probably more Dimitri than you've ever been, since the Tragedy." Felix can say that word, and Dimitri can hear it. And they can keep talking. This is good. There's a pause in conversation as it seems they mutually acknowledge that. Give it space. "I'm not used to it yet, though."</p><p>"Well, I'm just glad to be the recipient of your good will instead of your hatred," Dimitri says with a faint smile.</p><p>Felix grimaces. "I <em> never </em>hated you, Dimitri," he manages. "I – I hated the boar."</p><p>Dimitri's eye widens.</p><p>"I haven't hated any enemy near as much as I hated the thing that wore your skin. But it was only you as much as it looked like you," Felix says, lifting his chin, looking at Dimitri.</p><p>"I would like to believe you're right.” Dimitri shakes his head. “That it was never truly me, enacting horror up horror --"</p><p>"How could it have been?" Felix cuts him off, with a challenging look.</p><p>Dimitri pauses as if searching for something to say in rebuttal, but only ends up giving Felix a half-smile. "I'm sure I'll come to agree with you in time. You've been right so far."</p><p>"Hm." The corner of Felix's mouth twitches upwards in return.</p><p>The king’s smile turns into a sigh. "Felix, in truth, I wonder <em> often </em> how you found the resolve to seek me out. And then, to watch over me. Until I was . . . back to myself. How could you know? How could you have known that the dead would fail to have me until my grave? If I were you -- I would leave a mad king to his own end. How could you have had any <em> hope </em>?" Dimitri's voice breaks on the last word. He dips his head, hair falling forward, but not before the pained look on the king's face tells Felix that Dimitri certainly had had none of the hope he speaks of.</p><p>"Hope? As much as I hated the boar – I – I – you were still – you were still in there, where else could you go?" Felix's rising anger begs to give way to the crushing helplessness it holds back. He doesn’t stop it. "Where else could <em>I </em>go?!" His voice cracks. His eyes prick with tears. Felix has spent years and years dancing with his own fury, leading it on, lest it should stumble and leave him faltering under the weight of his own helplessness. Felix can always see what things should be. And he gets angry when they're not like they should be, when he can't make them so. He was so <em>helpless </em>for the past several years. Scores of foes vanquished, tens of skills learned, battle prowess and victories be damned – no, the world wasn't right until the real Dimitri was back, and that wasn’t up to him to bring about. But he's been rewarded, has he not, for surviving this far, for doing all he could  – sword in hand, bloodstained coat, spells at ready. Dimitri is back, and the war is over.</p><p>"Oh, Felix," Dimitri says. "If you hated the boar – what, then, do you . . . what then, for me?"</p><p>Something strong enough to keep him on a fool's errand for five odd years. Something that would keep him at the side of the thing he hated most. In a strange way, maybe the vision of what's to come is just another form of what it's been all along.</p><p>Felix inhales. "Love," he says.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>/Dimitri/</em>
</p><p>This word? From Felix Hugo Fraldarius? Addressed to <em> him </em>? </p><p>Dimitri is floored. Stunned. He can only stand there as Felix’s cheeks redden and he quickly twists the doorhandle and rushes out, leaving the door open behind him.</p><p>Dimitri can’t even put words together to call after him. </p><p>The truth? To Dimitri, Felix has always been a thing of beauty. Strange to think: he’s never felt this for any man but Felix, and it’s not the same as women who have held Dimitri’s passing fancy from time to time, either. Just like his weapon of choice, Felix is sharp and ready, shining and deadly. Dimitri admires him, truly, for his iron resolve. Prickly and brusque as he may be -- the Tragedy changed both of them -- he’s held himself together through everything. He’s strong, in not only visible but also invisible ways. Felix has put his dead to rest and Dimitri only wishes he could do the same. </p><p>Of course, Dimitri values many close friends from childhood and beyond, but no one has <em> seen </em>him like Felix has. Seen through his facade. Felix has always been with him: the real him. He’s always gone to him when he needs it. </p><p>But even before the Academy, Dimitri had resigned himself to assign Felix’s companionship -- as strange and struggling as it was, after Duscur -- to the account of <em> Fraldarius loyalty. </em>And when Dimitri lost himself; well, there was only blood on his mind and hands, for those years. Barely a thought of anything else. </p><p>And when Felix found Dimitri again -- and when Rodrigue died, and Dimitri started to wake up -- and when Felix kept him alive, and continued to fight at his side -- and when Faerghus won the war -- and when Dimitri became King of a united Fodlan -- and when Felix agreed to be his adviser -- </p><p>Dimitri has explained these events, also, as <em> Fraldarius loyalty. </em>He respects Felix’s friendship. He treasures it. He treasures Felix himself, in truth. Oh, how he does. But if he can keep Felix at his side as adviser, and perhaps  . . . perhaps in time, he will even become known as the Shield of Faerghus, after Rodrigue . . . then he would be more than happy. He needs nothing more than what Felix will give him, and his companionship and aid is enough.</p><p>But if Felix has . . . has <em> more </em> than that, to give? This happens only in Dimitri’s wildest dreams. Surely, Felix cannot have just -- just said that he has <em> love </em> for Dimitri? Dimitri would have settled even for Felix to verbalize friendship. That would have been progress. But <em> love </em>?</p><p>His heart is racing. He has a forum in a quarter hour; Felix isn’t scheduled to be there with him. After it ends . . . Dimitri has an idea where to go.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p>The castle’s training grounds are larger than those at the monastery, but built in the same courtyard style. Smooth stone is painted with sparring boundaries; a rack of training weapons at one side. </p><p>Afternoon light slants and casts a partial shadow over the courtyard.</p><p>In the farthest sparring court, a couple of squires are crossing swords, with a handful of onlookers. No Felix to be seen at this end. Dimitri makes his way to the portico at the opposite end of the courtyard; the Faerghus banner flutters from the top beam. And there is Felix, sitting on the first of three low steps, beside the rack of training weapons. Unusually still, in the place where he’s most likely to already be on his feet, challenging Dimitri to a round of swordplay.</p><p>Felix looks up as Dimitri approaches -- Dimitri’s heartbeat hammers inside him. He suddenly feels too warm.</p><p>“You have Sylvain to thank for this, he’s the one who pointed it out,” Felix tells Dimitri.</p><p>Dimitri blinks. “I --”</p><p>Felix gets to his feet. He grabs Dimitri’s sleeve insistently. “Are we just friends, or not?” His amber eyes are demanding but the way they search Dimitri’s face seem … vulnerable. Dimitri still can’t quite find words. </p><p>“I’ve . . . I’ve always wanted you,” he manages finally, almost stammering, twisting his sleeve out of Felix’s grip and instead sliding his palm under Felix’s, thumb resting on top of his hand. Felix doesn’t jerk away. “However that looked. However it looks -- however you think -- I am content to have you by my side, Felix, but . . .” Goddess, what is he supposed to say? He stares at Felix’s hand in his, suddenly thinking how a silver band would look on his fourth finger -- well, that’s a ludicrous idea considering he’s King and there are certain expectations but -- “even if we have to -- work it out somehow, I would give anything to have you love me. I already love you.”</p><p>What’s this? Felix is not quite grinning. It’s more like a smile, an honest-to-goodness <em> smile. </em>From Felix! “Stop with needing to give me something. I already said I love you.”</p><p>“Oh Felix,” Dimitri says, a smile in return, making his cheeks hurt, and he pulls Felix into an embrace; Felix returns it, his arms around Dimitri. </p><p>“Now don’t expect fancy dinners, or flowers, or letters, or cake, or picnics, or dancing--“ Felix is saying, on his tip-toes so he isn’t talking into Dimitri’s collar.</p><p>“I know, I know.” Dimitri cuts him off. He’s laughing. Then Felix is laughing. They’re staggering around, still in an embrace, like two fools. They must be, and Dimitri’s waited so long to feel like this.</p><p>When Dimitri’s too sore to keep laughing he draws back slightly to look at Felix. Since when has Felix looked <em> happy?  </em></p><p>“We’re idiots,” Felix says with a shake of his head. Some of his dark hair has come free from how he’s tied it back. He’s absolutely radiant. Dimitri gently lifts his chin so they’re looking at each other; he can’t help himself. Felix’s gaze travels down to his lips. But before Dimitri has lost all sense of his self control, Felix closes the last couple inches to kiss him.</p><p>The onlookers who were previously watching a sparring match have a much better display to turn their attention to now.</p>
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